I have started to write this blog for over a month ago. Writing is something that usually when I am in the right frame of mind I can do quickly. The ideas start flowing and then the words come. For little over a month now, I’ve been struggling to find my words. I’ve been struggling to find my way and eventually- myself. This has happened from time to time; often when I’m working too much or when I have too many responsibilities.
"I am not sure what the cause is this time...Probably a combination of both... but I’m lost and I’m drowning."
I have found that I am not alone in this experience; many other working Moms struggle to find their balance and often find themselves in the deep end without their floaties. The reality is all too real for 20 something and 30 something Mommas who usually find themselves between giving it all to their kids or staying on course at work.
I am luckier than most, I have to admit that I have a lot of support, but some day (heck most days) I find myself knee deep in a life I am not prepared for. I am expected to know it all because I “have it all”. I am meant to be grateful and appreciative because I have what some many other want. I actually have everything I ever wanted; a loving husband, beautiful and healthy children….and then a career I have worked so hard for. I am grateful, but I’m also taking on water. It’s hard to navigate “having it all” and knowing exactly what to do next.
Have you ever found yourself struggling to find help because you feel as though you should be nothing but grateful and gracious? It can be hard to admit you are drowning when others have harder journeys to travel than you. It can be painful to admit you need space, time and a break when you have “it all”. How can we exactly need help when we are already supported and blessed? How can you ask for help when you are expected to have it all and know it all?
I can remember a few years ago feeling proud of a friend who was doing it all on her own. We had similar experiences and similar paths until we didn’t. All of a sudden she was thrusted into a life as a single parent, without any family close by. She was trying to navigate a full time, emotionally demanding job. I can remember taking a pause and allowing myself to count my blessings. I also learned that I too was overwhelmed, I just had different demands. I was expected to be able to handle more, do more and know more. The support I had somehow given others; the idea that I had it “all together”. I much like my friend was drowning. She was obviously far further down than I was, but none of the less we were BOTH struggling.
Do you know a Mom who just seems to have to all together? Does she seem to have a wealth of support? Has it been awhile since you have checked in?
Maybe you are that Mom; maybe you feel guilty for needing more than you have been getting? Maybe you are struggling with the balance of working and finding your way as a Mom. If this sounds like you, you aren’t alone. Being a parent, a Mother is statically harder, we have greater demands without the village of support that our mothers had. Please know you are not alone in this experience, so many mothers (first time, third time, working and stay at home) Moms are reporting feeling alone. So many Mommas report feeling overwhelmed and alone.
"Drowning comes to mind…for me at least."
Sometimes it feels as though I will never come up for air. I know, I really know I can and will. How you may ask? I know because I have to and because I want to. I’ve worked hard to be here, I’ve worked with the passion and desire to better myself, my family and those who choose to become my clients. I can do this, even on the days I doubt I can. I also know you can do this too. You will learn how to swim, treading water will get you somewhere. You will learn that you always had your floaties. Maybe you will realize that in fact you never needed them. You can and will believe in yourself. You have the traits and qualities you need to swim and arrive at your destination. You aren’t alone, there are so many Mothers out there doubting their abilities and their stamina to “just keep swimming”. You are in good company, I am there and so are some amazing, kick ass Mommas!